By Ayodeji Tunde-Abatan
Adesola Amoke Abatan
One (1) year has gone by very quickly. I remember the sequence of events of that day, almost like the back of my hands.
Where I was and how my knees and courage failed me when I got the text from Dad announcing your death because they neglected you at the hospital. I remember his shaky voice when I called back immediately. I remember him saying “Desola is gone. My wife is gone. Your mom is gone”
I remember the pain and the many conflicting thoughts of the things I did and didn’t do on time. I remember the few words Tomisin and I shared as we journeyed to the mortuary that evening. I remember the tears on Dad’s face. The very first time I would ever see my first role model cry. I remember how my courage failed me yet again after I signed those forms and was ushered to go see your body. I couldn’t. I remember the unexpected multitude of hot tears that followed. Even when I was naughty as a child and you almost beat the living daylight out of me, I’d never cried like that before.
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I couldn’t even go near your casket or look at your face. Perhaps if I did, my heart would have broken more than it has today. I failed there mom.
Thank you for your service to us your children. Thank you for your doggedness in life, your love, your stubbornness, your willful nature that taught us resilience and enterprise. Thank you for the life your womb gave us. We’ll always love you. Dad talks about you everyday. I’m not exaggerating mom. In our daily calls, I always expect a mention of you. We tell him not to, but he won’t stop. I don’t think we even want him to.
Ayodeji-Son
Desola Amoke Abatan
Nov 1966-Feb 20259
I understand now why I saw you again in my dreams in the wee hours of this morning – hanging around, saying nothing but present and smiling in the scenes. It’s true what the elders say: A mother will never leave her children.
Her children too will not leave her. Keep resting in God Mom 🕊
Your son,
Ayodeji.
The one you call ‘Love’
Feb 18, 2026
