By Alex Ogundadegbe
A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. In order for us to manage people effectively, it’s great for us to understand how to relate with them. A prominent part of people management would be our disposition and general recognition of the various desires and behaviors of people. Individuals have different psychology but there are general thoughts and behaviors that every human being has and being able to relate with these, puts us in a strategic position to be a great people manager. In her book “Your Future Looks Bright” Cheryll Wamsley strongly believes that if we take proper cognisance of people around us we will do better in our realtionships and our work generally. Let’s begin from today to look at people differently. Here are some thoughts which will help us relate to people according to the author’s research.
Most people can be terrific: It is great to approach and try to relate with people in a positive mindset. Often you will find that it is the way that you treat people that they respond to you. John Maxwell explains that you can treat people the high, middle or lower way. The high way is when you treat them better than they treat you, the middle way is when you treat them exactly the way they treat you. The Lower way is when you treat them worse than they treat you.
People make mistakes: It is important for us to note that people are liable to make mistakes. There is no perfect individual anywhere and if mistakes made are things that can be overlooked or easily corrected we should not hold them against individuals whom we relate with. It is only when mistakes are costly and expensive to make that we find ourselves holding them against those people who commit them and thereby finding it difficult to forgive. Mistakes often lead to expertise when they are made and we can learn from them.
Human beings are emotional beings.They experience anger; fear; sadness and joy.They are prone to these emotions at different propensities and levels. Some people are able to control their emotions better than others, possibly because of practice and studies in emotional intelligence but not all human beings are wired that way.
People have hopes and dreams.Even slaves or servants are known to have hopes, aspirations and dreams that would encourage them to stay positive in low moments. These things give us drive and impetus. Every human being aspires for a better tomorrow. Such hopes are embedded in our DNA and untill we breathe our last we tend to think about how things can get better.
Peoples’ perception differs from one to another. We see things differently. Perception is usually based on background and understanding. Where we come from has a lot to do with how we see things. If we are leading a team or group its important that we are able to sell our vision to them and make sure their perception is similar to ours. Or else there will be a problem with our work on the long run.
People think about things and mostly try to make great decisions. Everyone has thoughts. And even though thoughts are not all together at the same level, people have the desire to make great decisions. Problem solving and decision making skills are important for the successful living of all manner of people.
People want to be heroes of their own lives: There is great pride in achievement. Most people like to be associated with progress of some kind. Perhaps building something like a house, a family, a business or an enterprise. People like to tell the story of their lives and feature themselves as the hero who over comes adversity and oppression.
People like recognition and attention. We all crave for recognition and attention. Every human being has a little bit of vanity in him. That sphere of the human life pushes forward a need for people to spot us and associate with us. No matter how shy or reclused a person is, there is that craving and attraction to be linked to other people.
People dislike being rejected, humiliated and embarassed. If you have lived long enough you have had what we call: “life’s most embrassing moments”. There are experiences we have in life that can make us feel less than we are, make us want to cringe into our proverbial shell and avoid people around us for a season. Nobody likes to be rejected, humiliated or embarassed, but there are those in the human race who know how to rise above these feelings and emotions and use them for good and progress.
People do like some degree of control: Everyone likes to have control of their lives. Parts of life such as development, increase, commerce, finance, emotions and relationships are required for us to control. People who can learn to control these parts of their lives often live outstandingly. Others look upon them and envy such influence. But humanity is designed such that we can all aspire and sieze a hold those aspects of our lives if we are willing. For some people, it takes a life long battle for them to arrive at that level of control.
Ultimately we all need to understand that we are no better than anyone else around us. Often the environment, resources, language and learning makes us believe we are better than others. Our circumstances might be better, but experience shows that circumstances and situations can change in the twinkle of an eye. It’s important for us to know that as long as a person is alive, there is potential for change which can lead to greater things.
If you work with people, and we all do, you need to note all of these issues about them. Understanding these points would put us in a better stead to manage them and succeed at whatever we are called to do.
By Alex Ogundadegbe